What I've Learned…
The days of wondering if this person or that person liked me are in my past. When I step into a room, instead of hoping someone likes me, I now think to myself, “I hope there is someone here I will find interesting.”
The passing of my mother from cancer at the age of 50 presses on my outlook in life. And now, my stepmother faces the same fate. Her exit from this world will be at the age of 47. I will be 37 in 6 weeks. What if this were my fate as well? What if I only had 10 years left? Will I have touched my bucket list? Hell, do I even have a bucket list? Who am I living this life for anyway?
I have decided in this life, I am living it for me. I am not living to impress the PTA moms or fulfill some wishlist I think my family has for me. In this life I will strive to love and understand as much as I can. I will also strive for balance. I will work to battle negativity with love and optimism. And, I will have fun.
So, what did I do? I changed my life. I saw myself as only a mom. I cooked and cleaned and did nothing for myself. I stifled my creativity because I didn’t see it as worthwhile. I live in a place I don’t like because my husband has a job here and it wouldn’t be practical to move with 4 children. But when I decided to take control things started to change.
I decided to move near a beach. That is still a work in progress, but is in motion. I started doing what I love. I love working with wood or old furniture. I now have my first piece up for sale! It can be found at : https://www.facebook.com/NormansBargainCenterDowntown
That was a shameless plug!
I cleaned out my home. I bet I brought a record number of bags to the salvation army. Anything that did not fit into the life I was creating went out the door. And my focus has now shifted from stuff to experiences. I go to the art store for children’s gifts and I buy concert tickets for adult gifts. I no longer center my life around stuff. (This will make a move easier as well!)
I also cleaned out my pantry. I no longer eat processed food. I swapped my bag of Doritos for a bag of apples. I needed good energy for the life I am creating and I needed good food to get it.
And guess what? I am now 48 lbs lighter the last I checked! People ask me how I am losing the weight. I now say, “Skinny is not the way to happy, happy is the way to skinny. You have to go out and carve the life you want for yourself.”
Perhaps I will post before and after pictures on my next post.